Words are Powerful, Words are Poisonous

What in the world would drive a person to want to hurt, humiliate and degrade another person so badly that it would make them want to die? This is a question that should not have an answer, yet according to the 2016 annual bullying survey of the UK, 1.5 million young people aged 12 to 20, which is a staggering 50% of young people had been bullied in that year, of these, 33% were having suicidal thoughts. Now, biologically speaking, to live in a world in which as humans and therefore as living beings, as animals, our primary aim, the purpose of our lives is and should be survival, for humans to be wanting to actually end their own lives, something somewhere has gone catastrophically and unforgivably wrong.

Here is a poem to illustrate the intersection of bullying and mental health issues.

Cruel taunts, heartbreaking visuals

skipping meals, piled bloody tissues

needless mental health issues 

caused by mindless chatter 

resulting in razor related blood spatter

spending every single night,

with crimson eyes, losing a futile fight 

a fight started by bullies

a fight carried on against yourself

you start sacrificing your own health

start selling yourself to find your worth,

feeling like you’re alone on this earth

telling yourself you aren’t enough 

that because they abuse you

that means you won’t be loved

you start to listen to them,

you start to believe them,

you timelessly reflect on what they’ve said

you start welcoming them inside your head 

countless teenagers, wishing they were dead 

comparing yourself to the sad perfection

that they viciously project onto you,

craving a dangerous draining affection 

to find self validation 

you’re mentally preparing yourself

to physically tear yourself

because they bring you down

you are their clown 

with your sad smile and sunken eyes

their empty words disguising lies

their deceptive laughs, piercing glares

the uncomfortably long, pitiful stares

from those who know, yet do nothing 

they sit idly by and pretend they can’t see you suffering,

because ignorance is bliss,

another human’s well-being at risk

but given a miss

for the sake of self preservation 

an indifferent, conceited portrayal of reputation 

It’s the damp pillow and sleepless nights 

the detached, distant behaviour

the anxiety, depression, reliance on a saviour

the tormenting broken record brain

that replays the horrors of what they say 

sickening remarks you can’t escape

weighted, venomous words that feed self hate

manipulative, spiteful actions that seal a fate 

embarrassing observations that make you feel shame

permanently judging yourself, breeding self blame

the dull, profuse aching of your heart

throwaway comments that have slashed you in half

vile jokes that have ripped you apart 

leaving your exhausted, broken body shaking, 

losing count of the pills you’re taking,

bitten lips quivering, dry mouth smacking,

strained, tired muscles tensed, broken voice cracking,

pinching yourself, clawing at your face, the metallic metal taste

depression manifests itself both in the mind and in the physical state,

symptoms that nobody notices or decides to recognise until it’s too late, 

the suffocating hoarseness of a cried out sandpaper throat,

thoughts of hanging ropes and slit wrists,

and still sick-minded people make jokes,

you’ve got long sleeved shirts to hide the scars

with all consuming dizziness, sleepless eyes seeing stars

you’re vomiting your stomach out until you feel lightheaded

smashing the scales, punching your tummy, understanding why they said it

you’re wondering why it had to be you

convinced that what they say must be true

they tell you to kill yourself,

tell you to just do it,

the world will be better off and there’s nothing more to it

self destructive substances in a bloodstream

the merciless burning of a gut wrenching scream

the nightly, repetitive crushing calamity of nightmarish dreams

stemmed from the toxicity of the poison

that drips from a tongue

the danger in words that has the power

to make a person numb 

a person’s blood on your hands, is that really what you find fun?

the power to destroy, shatter their shining light 

to extinguish ambition, to steal their happiness, 

massacre their motivation, impair their sight,

to batter their soul and slow down their heart

the power to make psychological disorders start

the power to drive somebody to self hatred so strong

that they start believing their existence is wrong 

they start trying to change themselves,

they try to find a way to stop hating themselves,

but the insecurity is overwhelming,

it’s a manmade hostile hell we are living in

sounds of a deafening shriek that cannot be silenced,

like an uncontrollable, crashing plane without a pilot,

we live in a society where hating is key

where cheap laughs from ridicule 

are regarded as a sweet symphony 

where trolling and online cowardice are commonplace,

where 10 year olds have sleepovers to plan surgery on their face 

from the age of 12 I wondered, why?

why is it that one human would make another want to die?

and from that age I realised I would have to find strength,

I would have to find courage in a world that thrives on pretence,

I was honestly baffled that not everyone was nice,

that every kind action was performed only at a price,

this isn’t about the tragic perception of western perfection 

this is about every person’s duty to always be kind to others,

when you open your mouth you do not know

the values, the ideas, the insecurities someone holds

you cannot decipher what is going on inside a person’s mind 

the demons a person is battling with, the trauma you might find

what they have been through and what makes them who they are,

what they are going through and how stable they are,

this is about changing the way people act and speak

this is about the likes of you and me 

because don’t you see that what we do 

impacts on others, we are all influencers 

we all have power to change lives and make our mark, 

so why would we do that in a negative manner

by putting out somebody else’s individualistic spark

these unnecessary words, they make no sense 

this uncalled for barrage of abuse without relent,

why does anyone feel the need to actively try

to make it difficult for another person to get by

because life is difficult enough

without another person making it that bit more tough,

so don’t let it be you who steps over that line

who spits venom and thinks it’s banter, that it’s fine

whose malicious words keep somebody awake at night 

there is no surprise when a 16 year old girl kills herself 

because bullying hijacks her mental health 

the signs were there but nobody saw them,

people were too busy trying to ignore her,

because they thought she was weird

they decided she wasn’t good enough 

and eventually, she believed them, it made her give up

she didn’t think she was worth saving

without support, without a kind face she caved in

but how wrong they were,

who were they to decide, what gave them the right

to take another beautiful human’s life

to fracture such a good heart,

to make her die because they made her hate herself,

bullying is the catalyst for so many issues with mental health,

bullying is the beginning of a downwards spiral 

people do not take responsibility for their harmful words,

they don’t understand the effect they have, a form of denial

causing life-long low self esteem and irreparably broken self confidence,

leaving gashes, susceptible open wounds and a desperate conscience

thawing a person’s mind, pillaging a person’s self love 

all because somebody couldn’t keep their mouth shut 

time cannot heal the scars caused by bullying,

time cannot heal the suicides in the world we are living in 

but we can stop bullying, we can stop hate 

we can put an end to this pathetic and inhuman

unacceptable disgrace

by making people aware

by making them afraid to even dare

to hurt another person

by making them want to care.

I will say it time and time again, this judgement of others needs to end. I simply do not understand why some people actually feel it is necessary to try and bring another person down. Bullying is one of the shallowest forms of humanity, so many of the things that are wrong with our world stem from the lack of kindness we display to others. It is not acceptable to act on an inclination to cause other people emotional or physical harm, in this current age we should be well aware of just how far-reaching the impact of our words and actions can be. There is no justifiable explanation for the number of people feeling suicidal or the number of suicides attributed to bullying. There is never an excuse for continuously trying to make somebody’s life that bit harder, there is nothing to gain from actively tormenting another person for doing nothing other than being themselves. It is genuinely sickening that there actually is a tolerance for the ridicule, humiliation and disrespect of others, whether it is discrimination somebody of a certain sexual orientation, ethnicity, religion, gender or race, or whether it is the vile remarks made about a person’s appearance, such as weight-based victimisation or targeting certain physical aspects of a person. Bullying in whatever form will always be completely unacceptable.

As much as I want to ramble on about why every person is unique and why they are worth so much more than we will ever understand and why their individuality is so important and wonderful, that is not what this is about, this is about actually changing a perspective. Not the perspective of those of you reading this who probably know bullying is wrong, but the perspective of the way we look at the issue. We look at bullying as an isolated topic, as one that is about a person or group of people essentially targeting and undermining another person through physical and / or emotional abuse and harassment. When in fact bullying is so much more, bullying is the catalyst for lifelong mental health issues, for ongoing self battles that can never be shaken, anti-bullying should not just be about prevention of bullying, it should be about developing kindness and compassion for others, for supporting those who have been victimised, to remind them of their worth, but also just generally being nice to anyone and everyone. You never know what a person is going through, the struggles they have dealt with or the hardships they are facing, your kind words, your friendly face and genuine smile could be the one thing that brings back their faith in humanity, the one thing that gives them hope in what seems like a world full of people who have only ever scowled and belittled them. It sounds cliché and it sounds far fetched, but kindness really does go a long way. If we think about the impact of bullying and just how much the actions of one person can affect another person in such a negative and horrifying way that they make a person want to take their own life, then we can also look on the flip side of this, to be kind to a person, to make a positive impact on a person’s life can show them that life is worth living and that whatever  it is that they are going through, they are supported and there are people in the world who care about them and want them to get better.

Bullying takes a serious toll on mental health, this desperately needs to be recognised by more people, it gives rise to severe emotional disorders both in the short term and long term, bullying changes the way a person views themselves and this for me, is the worst part, watching a person question their own value and their own importance is honestly heartbreaking. Incredible humans lose their sense of self worth because of thoughtless comments made by bullies. Bullying can cause long term damage to self esteem as well as initiating life-long mental and physical trials, for example, battles with depression, anxiety, eating disorders and substance abuse as well as potentially leading to physical injury either caused by physical abuse or by self-harm of the person being bullied as a result of the psychological effects caused by the bullying. Both bullies and those who are bullied are at increased risk of depression, this shows how prevalent the link between bullying and mental illness is and why it is crucial that as people we become more aware and sensitive to the troubles that others may be facing.

Scientists have found that being bullied in childhood puts children at a high risk of experiencing depressive disorders as a young adult. I became fully aware when I was 11 of just how harsh and cruel other children were capable of being and not only that but I noticed that this abuse was completely unwarranted and unnecessary, it was for absolutely no reason at all. Education on the mental health issues caused by bullying even at a young age is fundamental to helping children, at this young age a lot of the mental abuse is for no other reason than cheap laughs and a lack of understanding of consequence, it is vital that this is changed. Studies have shown that psychiatric disorders stemmed from bullying can be caused by experiences of children as young as 8, both in bullies and in children who had been bullied, once again highlighting the importance of early intervention and education on the subject of bullying and mental health.

We are stuck in a vicious cycle, 24% of those who have been bullied, go on to bully, by not preventing bullying and helping victims as best we can, we are in fact condoning further bullying. As a society we have normalised the ridiculing and degradation of other humans, we have decided that we actually have a say in another person’s life, in what they look like, in the way they behave, in who they are, this is so unbelievably selfish and out of order. We do not get to tell other people how to live their lives, we do not have the right to assign a label to a person and we absolutely do not have the right to tell someone how much they are worth based off of such narrow minded assumptions. Every single person has their reasons, the experiences that have shaped them to make them into the person they are, everybody has an immeasurable worth and value, so the fact that a person thinks it is justifiable to pick on someone at face value because of their own insecurity or their own prejudice and misconceptions is ludicrous

People. Are. Who. They. Are. They. Cannot. Change. That. so. Let. People. Live. What another person chooses to do with their life is nobody else’s business. Who are you to judge another person? In an age where cyberbullying is commonplace, it has become so easy for cowards to sit behind the protection of a screen and say indescribably despicable things that are far harder to say and get away with in real life, it has become far too normal to relentlessly target and maliciously bully a person anonymously on different forms of social media. I am ashamed to say that I no longer bat an eyelid when I spot internet trolls bombarding people with hate and vile threats that make my skin crawl. The same question however continues to present itself, why do people feel this hate is necessary?

Words can be poisonous, words can be destructive, words are powerful  beyond belief and the drastic impact these words can have on us as sentient beings should never be underestimated.

We each have a voice, we are all capable of using this voice, how we choose to use this voice is up to us but always bear in mind that words have the power to make or break a life.

Statistics in this article came from the “Ditch the Label” 2016 Annual Bullying Survey: Annual Bullying Survey 2016

If you are being bullied, here is a link to a selection of websites that can help with possible strategies going forward,  I urge you to take a look: Anti-Bullying Alliance


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